Pizza. Pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza. Pizza.

In lieu of a real post — because, to be frank, you folks ain’t getting nothing of substance from me today, or possibly this month — I thought you might be interested in some of the Internet search terms by which people come across this here blog: 

  • sex beautiful jew (well, obviously)
  • when did they stop making Eaton’s Viking fridge (I wrote a post about Rowan’s grief over replacing our 25-year-old refrigerator. Apparently a lot of people harbour ancient Viking beer fridges and are trying to figure out what to do with them.)
  • maman sex (a perennial favourite)
  • You are the parent of a 16-year-old boy. You come home unexpectedly and find your door ajar. Inside, you discover your son’s friend looking through a kitchen drawer. The boy says he is looking for a paper and a pencil so he can leave your son a note. On the counter next to him is a lock-pick and some of your jewelry and he smells of marijuana. You tell the boy to leave immediately and he does. Which of the following, if any, will you do now (No idea how this relates. But so intriguing! What would you do?)
  • sex maman (also hot)
  • pizza; piece of pizza (quite possibly the most common terms, based on one sort of throwaway post about not wanting to share a piece of pizza with Rachel. Lesson learned: improve your blog stats by writing about pizza.)
  • jewish weddings gay (they're expecting something so happy, and then I traumatize them with my story of a gay Jewish wedding that turned into a funeral. So sad.)
  • the unexpected murda alas vainly cries the child of glass when the two shall be as one the spirits journey shall be done (Child of Glass obsessees, unite!)
  • tubular meat warmers (ew. “Tubular meat” is code word around here for hot dogs.)
  • Sexy French maman (we cater to the bilingual around here. I think I get so many hits for both French and English because search engines read “Mama non Grata” as “Maman on Grata.” I wonder what they make of all those posts about toe jam. Either they’re really disappointed or really, really happy.)
  • Toddlers left in basement unsupervised (heh. Enough said.)
  • Scrabble pieces in a Crown Royal bag (The gum wrapper chain! A portal to untold happiness for so many of you, as it turned out.)
  • Vegetarian homeschooling home birthing (I love how this makes me sound so granola. I am full of admiration for my friends who homeschool, but, frankly, I would gnaw off my own leg rather than attempt it here. Also, meat is yummy (see “tubular meat,” above). But I would get pregnant again if only to have another homebirth. Although then we'd  have to figure out what to do with the ensuing baby.)
  • Foursome sex (you are sensing a theme here, aren’t you?)
  • reasons not to move to Thunder Bay (I hope I haven’t dissuaded anybody.)